rest as a path to reclaiming mental real estate

10am naps and so much tv

I began my week with the intention of reclaiming mental real estate. I declared this would be the week I would cross some big items off of my spring cleaning to-do list. There are two closets and one cupboard in our house that desperately need attention. The Tupperware cupboard in the kitchen, the studio closet in the living room and our bedroom closet.

I’ve been meaning to reorganize all of these spaces for months now. Each unique manifestations of the ADHD out-of-sight-out-of-mind phenomenon. A common problem I have been living with my whole life, but now have proper understanding and compassion for following my Autism and ADHD diagnosis last fall¹.

However, no closet organization happened this week. I got really sick last Monday with what felt like seasonal allergies and a weird flu-ish cold. Then Tuesday morning I lost my sense of taste and smell and knew I needed to test for covid.

The sad way I discovered my sense of smell was gone? I stopped in the alley to adore the last lilac bundle, knowing it could be the last time I smelled my favorite perfume for the season. I live parked the car, got out and reached for the branch to lower the blossoms. Took a deep inhale and…nothing at all. Except heartbreak.²

Taj and I both tested positive later that day. A sort of scary first on the other side of Taj’s diagnosis and new immunocompromised reality. Before the fog and fatigue set in on Wednesday, I teased that maybe this was the universe’s way of giving us a lot of quality time together before I begin a new job in June. I exclaimed that maybe I would in fact be able to take care of the closets with all the extra time!

Side note: Isn’t that terrible? We get sick…and the first thing we think of is how we can be productive?

I can see now that wanting to tend to all three of those spaces in one week was far too ambitious. And even though no organization happened, the intention has served an important purpose of reframing the expectations and timelines we place on ourselves.

Every time I open the Tupperware cupboard pieces dramatically fall out and onto the floor, having to take a detour into the dishwasher before they can even be used. And, it can wait.

The pants storage portion of our closet (which was one of those hanging things that lets you fold your pants into little cubbies) broke months ago and fell from it’s hanger and has since been slouched in the corner, still holding our pants in a sort of pile? There are not enough hangers for our clothes and so we have each started “wear again” piles that don’t even live in the closet. And, it can wait.

And the studio closet is…well..better described by this picture below.

I always thought that I would share this photo as a before and after, but today I am proudly sharing it as an “as-is” photo. This closet began to spiral out of order when my January Etsy orders were wrapping up, just as the planner season was coming to a close and I had to set my shop to vacation mode from the hospital. And, it can wait.

Sometimes, the permission to not do a thing can be far more powerful. It feels important to write about the spaces that need our attention, yet don’t warrant enough of it when other areas of our life need us more. It feels important to normalize the build up to the tasks. Rather than just sharing the pretty before and after photos.

A nod to the collecting of energy. The brewing of motivation. The relief that will come when you finally can direct your attention to something as “trivial” as a closet or a cupboard.

I thought this week would be full of productivity and it was. A productive week of so much rest. A productive week of pausing before a new chapter. A productive week of putting things into perspective.

A productive week of 10am naps following eleven plus hours of sleep from the night before. So much good TV. So much tea that tasted like absolutely nothing. Sniffing my essential oil bottles three times a day, willing my sense of smell back as I try to *remember* what lemongrass smells like.

As of today I could smell coffee faintly. Today is the second day in a row where we have not needed a 10am nap. Yesterday we had enough energy to leave the house for a Michaels curbside pickup for some more quilting materials. I stayed awake past 8pm and worked on the quilt top I had tucked away at the beginning of this year. So we’re making progress!

We’ve heard from others that are also sick right now, it’s definitely been going around. I hope that this week’s newsletter finds you healthy and with your sense of smell and taste.

Will you tell me something you enjoyed eating this week so I can vicariously live through you? I very much look forward to being able to taste again. I’m craving pancakes and nachos the most for some reason?

With Love,

Jenna

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• Can you identify 3 things on your running to-do list that can just be completely taken off for now? Maybe somehow you convinced yourself they needed to be done, but frankly they just really can wait? Take note of what it feels like to release these tasks.

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• Crunchy cheesy corn tortillas in the air fryer along with fudge pops have been satisfying all of my sensory needs while I await the return of my sense of smell and taste

• The new season of Bridgerton is a thrill and I am so grateful for the cosmic timing of its release and our bed-bound week!

• We also binged Baby Reindeer on Netflix, which was far heavier than Bridgerton but also very very well done and an important series to exist in the world

• I am obsessed with my dear friend

  KP Kaszubowski
  ’s weekly Astro-Archetypes newsletter that she just launched last week. I can already tell that reading while sipping coffee on Sunday mornings is going to be a great weekly ritual of mine

• Quilting videos on YouTube…because now that I have finished my first quilt top…I have to figure out how to finish the quilt!

• The private patch of woods Taj and I found on our venture out of the house yesterday, sitting under trees and watching the wind move all of the very very green leaves. It feels like during this week inside Spring has turned to Summer.

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• I mentioned that I’m starting a new job this June! Therefore I’ll only be offering the personalized hypnosis add-on for the Spring Time album for one more week. Grab this offering before it’s gone here!

• Next Saturday is May’s Monthly Forecast Circle! Invite some friends and sign up here. This month I’ll be taking us through an altered live version of the Spring Cleaning meditation that is on the Spring Time album. (Reminder, you do not need to be a DSWL planner user to attend!)

• Sound bath and labyrinth walk season is upon us! Sevan and I are hosting the first event of the season on Thursday’s Full Flower Moon! This event is already sold out but be sure to grab tickets for the one happening on the Summer Solstice in June here!

1. If you’d like to read more about my Autism and ADHD diagnosis you can check out this piece.

2. Losing my sense of smell is by far the worst symptom I have ever experienced. And, it’s not my first time. I first lost my smell the last time I had covid in 2022. I went back and found a Smell Diary I kept during that first time, tracking the depression that set in when I couldn’t smell for almost two weeks. I’m now on day 6 and things are starting to come back faintly and I’m doing everything I can to stay optimistic, knowing I’ve gotten through this before and I can get through it again. I know it’s absence is intensifying my gratitude for it.