regulate often

my intention of the week that hit too close to home

I should have know better than to fall asleep late on Tuesday night with the live election results on. As a subconscious practitioner who understands the sponge-like quality of our brains as we drift in and out of slumber, I typically wouldn’t give up that level of control — but, I did.

As I was drifting off to sleep I was hopeful that that red mirage would somehow magically turn blue. A dream that turned into a nightmare when I woke up around 1:00 am on Wednesday morning to an eery live feed of Donald Trump’s election party. A sea of quiet people in a glowing red haze — all with their heads down looking at their phone instead of the empty stage in front of them.

I quickly turned off the TV in an attempt to regain control. And then gave up my control again by doom scrolling for another ninety minutes until I was so exhausted by the fear of the next four years that there was nothing left to do except sleep.

A fireplace stress toy our dear friends Rosa & Nick gave Taj while she was in the hospital last Winter. It didn’t leave my hands Tuesday night.

This went against my intention of the week I wrote in my Dear Self With Love planner in bold, proud, happy letters on Monday morning: Regulate Often

I didn’t choose the intention to regulate often because of the election, I chose it because I was onboarding two new clients and knew there were going to be a lot of moving pieces as we got everything set up. Signing two new clients allowed me to release gig work and truly sink back into work-from-home life, so I wanted to make myself proud. I wanted to be regulated, grounded.

I was committed to early mornings for me-time, reincorporating dry brushing into my hygiene routine, mid-day walks, sunshine breaks on the patio to boost my vitamin D intake, healthy home-cooked sheet pan meals, breathing and grounding before client calls, transition routines from work to relaxation, essential oils and tapping before bed — you get the picture.

Little did I know that I would also need to regulate my nervous system in reaction to the election results when a serious fight or flight response kicked in. On Wednesday morning I downloaded my Couch to 5K app and decided I’d need to run instead of walk. I needed to blast angry music in my headphones and feel my heart pound.

I peeled myself off the floor yesterday morning and did it again. And took a cold shower to boost my endorphin and norepinephrine levels after. I felt better for hours after finishing.

Regulating post-election looked like leaning into all of the tools in my toolbox, including reaching out to friends and family in search of co-regulation. I’ve been trying to come out of my Cancerian cave to be next to people this week. I have more plans lined up because I know the importance of reminding myself with physical evidence that I am not alone right now.

In a couple of hours I’m grabbing brunch with my momma. Tonight I’m hanging out with my fantastically queer DND friends. I’m catching sunrise with another friend tomorrow morning. I’m going beach glass hunting with my Aunt this week. I’m planning family Zoom calls and a virtual Schitts Creek rewatch. I’m going to therapy and a writing group with friends on Thursday. I’m holding space at Lynden Sculpture Garden with Sevan on Friday. I’m hosting a free community letter writing workshop at MIAD on Saturday.

I am going to be around people like it’s my job right now. I’m going to focus on what I can control. I’m going to keep doing my bilateral stimulations that Melissa Tier taught me in this reel this week. I’m going to cry about how much I love my partner Taj. And cuddle my cat. And light candles. And drink hop tea before bed.

I’m going to remind you to regulate often, too. I’m going to remind us that when we all come together to share what works for our own nervous systems, we can create a large library of resources we can collectively tap into.

Together, we can make it through this moment in history. Together, we can get grounded enough to keep moving forward.

With Love,

Jenna

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You can think of these questions as an invitation to grab your journal, start a conversation in your group chat, or ponder on when you’re out on your next walk! Feel inspired to share a list of the ways that you regulate? Let’s create a community resource in the comments below 👇

• How do you regulate your nervous system on a day-to-day basis? Make a list of all the little and small things you do from morning to night that help you come back to center and calm.

• Do you do anything differently to regulate yourself in times of uncertainty and crisis? Make another list of the regulation tools you tap into when you need even more support.

• Who do you enjoy co-regulating with? Whose shared presence alone soothes your nervous system? Take a moment to make plans with that person this week.

• How do you hold space for uncertainty? (This question was inspired by astrologer Colin Bedell’s much needed IG reel this week about maximizing your tolerance with uncertainty)

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I’ve been wanting to create a private podcast for paid subscribers for monthssss. The first episode of my brand new Passing Notes Private Podcast is dropping this Wednesday (11/13) and I have all the butterflies in my stomach about it! 🦋

In this first episode I tell you the story about the time I went to a psychic and was told I was a proud member of the queer community years before I came out. 👀 It’s a wild ride, friends.

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Milwaukee Area Friends! I have two events coming up next weekend that I’d love to see you at!

• Full Moon Sound Bath & Moon Circle — Sevan Arabian-Ries and I are moving our ongoing collaboration at Lynden Sculpture Garden indoors for the winter! Our first indoor event is next Friday, November 15th at 5:30pm! Grab your tickets here!

• [FREE] Future-Self Letter Writing Workshop — Come write a letter to your future January 2025 self during this drop-in workshop at Milwaukee Institute of Art & Design on Saturday November 16th from 11am-2pm! All materials are provided! RSVP here.

Later this month!

• ChefCarla Contreras
  and I are co-hosting a Substack 101 workshop on 11/21! If you’ve been dreaming about how to begin your own Substack or feel curious about how you can use this platform as another tool for connection, this workshop is going to be a friendly place to dip your toes.

• Dear Self With Love 2025 Self-Love Planners will be available for sale in my Etsy Shop for Small Business Saturday on 11/30! Save the date so you can come back and grab a planner!