measuring the year in bread instead of newsletters
a new pace in 2025
In 2024 I measured my weeks in Substack newsletters, keeping a cadence of much needed self-reflection during a life-changing year. As we start 2025, it seems I’ve shifted to measuring my weeks in the loaves of bread I’ve baked.
The fourth loaf of the year is being kneaded in the bread machine as I write this. When the timer to take the paddle out beeped — I stepped away from the computer, washed my hands, removed the paddle, and shaped the loaf with my eyes closed into a sort of circular shape.
I closed my eyes to better infuse the love I’m feeling this morning into the bread itself. This is something I do often while cooking, or making tea, or stirring creamer into coffee. The belief that if I can put that extra layer of love and affirmation into the very thing I will consume, it will be so.
This time last year I was carving sigils into doughy dumplings as I concocted a healing chicken soup for my partner Taj. She had been sick for weeks, with mystery symptoms that multiple doctors couldn’t figure out. Day after day was filled with tracking her fevers and an over consuming feeling that if this was a cold, or the flu, it would have gotten better by now.
2024 began with me sitting bedside in her hospital room for thirty-two consecutive days while she fought for her life. It wasn’t a cold, or the flu, or the misdiagnosed impetigo. It was lupus nephritis and her body was attacking itself.
A year later and I began this morning in tears, sitting cross-legged on the floor, face-to-face with her while we held hands. Tears of gratitude for how well she is doing now. For how much she has healed herself. For her unshakable spirit.
A gratitude that deepens when I realize I have created a life for myself that allows me to work from home where I can have slow mornings like this — all while baking bread. Our home is filling with the smell of rising yeast now, and I can hear her laughing in the other room.
I’m okay with measuring 2025 in loaves of bread.
Eyes closed, I’ll whisper more love into the butter and grape jelly I spread on the first warm slices later this morning. And I’ll roll my head back and exhale a big thank you to all my angels for showing me just how much can happen in one year’s time.
With Love,
Jenna
As you look at your 2025 so far, how would you say you are measuring your weeks? Is there a certain ritual you find yourself doing on a regular basis that helps you keep time in a way that feels nourishing to you?
If not, is there something you’d like to experiment with going forward? Take some time to brainstorm here ❤️
It’s sort of uncanny timing but months ago after completing
‘s incredible Lyric Threads Lab (where I started to write poetry again because I needed a space to process all that unfolded in 2024) she invited me to sign up for Woodland Pattern’s 31st Annual Poetry Marathon & Benefit. I’m reading publicly for the first time since 2018 this Sunday in the 3:30 Hour! You can pledge support for my participation or buy in-person or virtual tickets here!Things have really taken off with Have Cake Creative which is why I’ve been a bit quiet over here. As I experiment with finding my new cadence for the year here at Dear Self With Love, I keep coming back to the desire to create more community over at Have Cake too. In February I’m going to start weekly Half-Baked To Have Cake Co-Working Drop-Ins and would loveeee to know if you’d benefit from having a space like this for extra accountability, community, and support on bringing your half-baked ideas to life. Let me know what you think and vote co-working times here!
I'll be infusing the love I’m feeling at the time into the pasta because I can't make bread ;)