listen to all parts
on preparing for a big change
Tomorrow I start a new job. A job with a predictable schedule. A job with benefits. In full transparency, I have never committed to a job like this. My adulthood has been peppered with a colorful history of gigs and seasonal work and carving my own path.
From delivering flowers, to delivering food. From a short-lived real estate career, to the humbling nights working in a group home. From pouring drinks for Saturday happy hour, to pouring hearts in lattes. From teaching people to learn how to float in isolation tanks, to teaching people Neuro-Lingustic Programming in the middle of the pandemic via zoom. From serving salmon bowls, to serving wheatgrass shots from behind the juice bar. So many gigs, so many tips, so many 1099 contracts and one four year entrepreneurial pursuit as a life coach and hypnotherapist.
I have gone through so many seasons. Some where I focus all of my energy on one thing at a time and others where I Tetris 3-4 different things together. I began this week with the intention to prepare for this new (and very different looking) chapter in small and big ways.
I planned my outfit for the first day of orientation, I stocked my Libby App with audiobooks for my daily commute, I planned my lunches, I did as many pre-birthday preparations for Taj’s big day as possible, I mapped my new work schedule with our existing plans on the fridge and I scrubbed the sinks and cleaned the stove for good Chi.
But then this weekend brought a big case of the “Sunday Scaries” and preparing started to look like holding deep space for myself as the new chapter started to feel way larger than I had been giving myself room to admit.
This morning, on the eve of orientation, I sat out on the patio with my coffee and my journal and did some parts work. I first learned about parts work through the powerful NLP technique, Parts Integration. Where you hold space for two conflicting parts and create a bridge for them to see eye to eye so they can work together for the whole self.
In this journal exercise I held room for more than two and instead invited all the parts who wanted to be heard to hang out around a table, discussing how they felt about this big change.
I took turns writing through the lens of each part as they gathered —
The part of me that craves this form of stability and predictability
The part of me that’s going to miss Taj after a season of so much togetherness
The part of me that’s skeptical because I’ve started and stopped so many things
The part of me that’s resistant to such a rigid schedule
The part of me that’s confident this will be a beautiful outlet for me to share my gifts
The conclusion was simple — every single part is valid in experiencing the weight of this change, and it’s okay for big things to feel big.
That’s all there is to do. (And iron my blouse!)
If you find yourself on the brink of change or feeling big feelings too, I love you and I hope that you can give yourself the space to feel it all and honor all the different parts of you at the table.
They all have one thing in common, they are all trying to protect you.
Tonight maybe, we can hold those parts of ourself and tell them “thank you, I know you’re just trying to protect me, but we’re going to give this a shot anyways — okay?”
May you listen to all parts. May you let it be big.
With Love,
Jenna
Is there a situation or event that you’d like to check in with all of your parts about? Sit down with your journal and invite them all to the table. One by one write through the lens of each part and ask — What do they want most? What are they afraid of? How are they trying to protect you? Is there anything they need in order to feel safe? Follow this train of thought as long as it feels good for each part. Let them keep going until they feel finished.
As I put together my audiobook list I immediately began listening to Crying In H Mart by Michelle Zauner (accidentally and very happily finished it in 3 days! So good!)
Being able to smell and taste everything again! I especially enjoyed a burger I ordered during a celebratory lunch with Taj and some Root Beer Float custard we got afterwards
The way sitting out on the patio feels like I’m on vacation every morning this time of year
Having the most perfect breeze hit me after a big walk in the woods today
Driving in the car with the windows down listening to Billie Eilish’s new album Hit Me Hard And Soft
Hearing first impressions/impacts from my dear friends who ordered custom hypnosis tracks during the Spring Time album launch
what was your outfit on day 1????
Cheering on your change and sending you love Jenna ❤️ xo Carla